Deaf and Dumb

My young friend called me up and without a Hi or a Hello said, “Listen why doesn’t he even listen to me? I only want him to listen to what I say. It’s okay if he doesn’t understand me.” She was talking about her fiancé, who she claims was once crazy to just hear her voice. Well, this is the commonest complaint I hear these days. Nobody it seems has time much to listen to anyone else. I recently went for dinner with a couple. And at least 3 times in the hour that we were together the wife told my friend, “Will you please switch off your mobile and listen to me?” He didn’t comply. She gave up and switched on her own mobile. I ate my food silently with intermittent “Take this, taste that” from them both. Perhaps the only need many have is just to be heard, and the only problem they have is that nobody has the time or inclination to hear them out. I remember a lovely Mohmad Rafi Song from ‘Hun Dono’ which has a verse saying, “Kaun rota hai kisiki aur ke khatir aye dost. Sabko apne hi kisi baat pe Rona aaya.”(Who cries for others, O friend. Everyone has something of their own to cry about). In these times, the greatest gift one can give anybody is our time and ear. Just hear them out. So many call me and ask about the solution to their agonies. I refrain from giving any solutions since I know they only wanted to be heard. Solutions they know better than me. I recently asked my sweetest friend if her fiancé came to pick her up from her workplace. She replied “Never!” I felt sorry for the guy. I also asked another friend (also engaged recently) - “Why don’t you go pick her up from Worli where she works.” He replied, “Forget it, there is so much traffic at NSCI in the evenings.” I wondered if I was talking to a fiancé or a taxi driver who refuses to go to a traffic - zone. This was the guy who constantly complained that they don’t spend too much time together since she is working till late evenings. So think about this when your eyes are on the phone-screen and your ears can’t hear the voice of your beloved sitting next to you. Perhaps this is what deaf and dumb means today.

Happy “more listening” in the new year!!!