On your wedding – Dhwani…


This month’s article has come in slightly late, since our Dhwani (who sends the article every month) got married on March 6 to Kewal (also my past student). And I must say that this marriage was the gift they got for their relentless faith, patience, and love. They faced many trials and tribulations over the last 3 years, and the world left no stone unturned to dissuade them in this respect. Social norms and customs warned them against it, but they stood their ground on Gandhian principle – no rudeness, no violence, no ultimatums, no running away. Hats off to both of them and also to their parents for allowing their love to prevail. In my letter of congratulations, I told them to respect this grace, and work towards making this relationship stronger and stronger in time. The real test starts after marriage and honeymoon – so say the married. I have no personal experience about this
In this connection, I am reminded of a Sanskrit verse which gives 7 criteria to be checked by a girl and her family before selecting her husband. They are stated in their order of importance – Kul (Lineage), Sheel (Character), Sanathata (parentage), Vidya (wisdom), Vitta (prosperity), Vapu (health/looks), Vaya (age). Do we now honour the wisdom of the sages enshrined in this verse? Most people first see the Vitta (prosperity), size of the house, the area in which he stays, the number of cars he possesses, etc. The importance given to Vapu (looks and personality) far exceeds the search for Sheel (character) and Vidya (wisdom, not the no. of degrees he possesses). And please note that Vitta (prosperity) and Vapu (external personality) come almost at the end in the order of importance given by the sages. How much of attention and effort is invested in knowing his state of evolution, his value – system, the way he treats the servants/waiters/even beggars – with respect or with disgust. What is his reaction when his strong desires are not fulfilled? And then, we expect the marriage to blossom and expect our children to have values – but how much importance have we given to those values in making the vital decisions of our life? We need to sit and think about all this, the do we have the time for this?

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