Please talk it out


In our varied interactions with the world, we find at times that we have been misunderstood or that we have made a mistake and the world is not responding the way it did, or for no reason some people are being cold to us or not returning our call or message. We have an option to let them be or react adversely or behave cold or talk it out with them from our nobler state of being. Last week, I had a similar situation and I chose (as I always recommend) the option of “talking it out.” There was a group which was not responding to my calls since 2-3 weeks. Initially, I thought they must be busy, but gradually I had a vibrational feeling that something was amiss. So I used a third party contact and finally got on call with the one in the group who had been in contact last till a few months back. I spoke heart-to-heart with him and asked him if there was anything I had done to trigger this lack of response from the whole group. I asked, “Did I offend you or others in any way. Did I cross any lines while teasing you all (as I often tease everyone and even irritate them)? Did I hurt your sensitivity in any way or abuse the sporting spirit of the group (they were always very sporting otherwise)? If I have done any of these, then I wish to apologize unconditionally. I am sorry. Now atleast tell me where I went wrong or what is the problem.” I went on for some time giving him examples of how talking it out is best, if not, the only course in such matters. I ended by telling him how important it is to resolve misunderstandings and hurt feeling and how all this won’t matter after a hundred years when neither he nor I will be around in our current embodiment. I kept the phone and felt so relieved and good. I have no idea whether I had won him and others back, or maybe he could have forgotten our entire conversation totally on keeping the phone or maybe I had bored him to death. Anyways where do we have any control on the results of our action. We don’t need to, since we need to leave that to the universal intelligence we call God. Mark Anthony (in Shakespear’s Julius Caesar) sums this up beautifully at the end of his oration.
“Mischief, thou art a foot , take thou what course thou wilt.” My personal advice to all is always to talk it out for you never know who is waiting for your just one call.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The Ultimate Revelation

The Brihadaranyaka Upanishad [Verse 2-4-5] says, “atmanastu kamaya sarvam priyam bhavati” meaning it is only for sake of the self alone that all is loved. The verse says verbatim that no husband, wife, father, mother, son, loves the other for the sake of that persons happiness. All love for their own happiness only. Only a Self-Realised or God-Realised person can love selflessly for the sake of the other’s happiness. Thus, we love the other only since we get some happiness from them – physically, emotionally, and materially. Our self-interest is getting fulfilled at some level. Ofcourse, we may not want to agree with this position as we feel that our love is unselfish and that we have done so much for our loved ones without expecting any return. If that be so, why do we feel let down or suffer when our loved ones betray us or forget what we have done for them? Because our selfless love did have an ounce of selfishness and self-interest. The above spiritual revelation is not for us ...
Read more

Happiness Quotient

A Chinese Proverb says, “if you want happiness  For some moments = indulge in any sense-pleasure For an hour = take a nap or a walk  For a day = go for a picnic For a month = get married (debatable)  For a year = inherit a fortune (that is, in one year you must have spent it)  For a decade = get divorced (Well, Well, I added this one to make my married friends imagine happiness) For a lifetime = give, give, give (love, care, help, time, patience, smile, tears to others in need of them.) For eternity = know who you really are from the one who knows who he is not." Now, we must ask ourselves, which happiness we want. We are all happy today since everything is in place as per our wish and want (house, wife, child, health, job, bank balance, knees, heart, liver, kidneys, lungs, the list is endless and subjective). Just imagine that one of the factors in this list is taken away. Now what happens to our “Happiness Quotient” is a true indicator of how happy we really are. L...
Read more

Mere Sapno ki Rani

I was a Sydenhamite and rejoined the college as a lecturer after completing C.A. Those were the golden years of the college. Being interested in music/singing, I also took active interest in Sydenham’s Performing Arts Society. The very first song I sang for a Sydenham fest then was “Mere sapno ki Rani kab aayegi tu.” During the same period I also got introduced to spirituality. I heard many spiritual masters and met my Guru Haribhai Kothari. And through them, I learnt my first lesson in Love. Till then I was under a delusion that I knew what it is, and anyways how many of us ever think that we need to learn what love is. I learnt that ‘Love’ is different from ‘Like’.  We always feel that we can love only what we like. But love includes adepting/identifying with what we dislike in others. I learnt that we (as eternal souls) have 3 bodies - a. Gross physical body, b. Subtle body (mind, thoughts, emotions, feelings), c. Causal body (our basic nature, samskars, deep – rooted condit...
Read more