Choosing Love over Logic


A sweet friend called and exclaimed, “Oh, why do our near and dear ones (relatives) talk ill, are upset with us in spite of our best intentions, backbite us? Why can’t there be purity, understanding, and goodwill in relationships?” She was a little disturbed and she expressed it in her extremely sweet Hindi. I tried to explain that every person acts in accordance with their deep-rooted sanskars (conditioning of the past) and the only way to change these sanskars is to first realize that they are obstructing outgrowth and happiness. Most people today have a low Spiritual Quotient (SQ) and thereby operate from an egoistic and self – obsessive thought pattern. And on top of that, they are convinced that they know what life is all about, they know what is right, and that they are always right. I suggested to her that she needs to give top priority to ‘SQ’ in her desired list of what she would want in her life – companion. How many people even think of this factor when they make friends, companions and most importantly their life – partners. They want somebody who will love them unconditionally, understand them, accept them the way they are, respect their opinions/views, etc. but they fail to realize that all these points are the result of a strong ‘SQ’ in that person. If not, he will love you unconditionally only till he gets you. It won’t last since he was only mimicking true love just to win her over. But not many girls are able to see through this deceit. They get carried away. Ironically, one girl recently told me that she wants a companion who will love her and accept her as she is, but she is allergic to any form of spiritually and the last thing she wants in him is any inclination towards Satsangh. Hey Bhagwan!

A couple (both close to me) was having some tension over an issue. Both were cold to each other since 2/3 days. Finally, the husband called me and said, “What do I do, she just doesn’t talk about what is going on in her head.” Amongst other things, I suggested that he should first invoke her receptivity to him. And for that, he should sit holding her hand, give her a loving hug, do emotional foreplay, and then tell her “Dear, from beginning to end of this issue, I was wrong and you were right. It is my fault 100%. I am so sorry. Please tell me what is bothering you. I am all there for you.” I told him to switch off his intellect and ego which will resist the above and tell him logically how it is not his fault. Whose voice do we listen to - love or logic? Love, gratitude, understanding can dissolve any dispute… Why don’t we try them out?

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