Beggars on Stage

In October Last Year, I attended an engagement function of my ex-student and good friend. Her marriage was fixed for a later date in December.  When I reached there, I saw her and her to be husband standing on stage and there was this queue of her relatives / friends / invitees going up and giving them their covers/gift (which they were pocketing without any hesitation). I wandered how this function was any different from her wedding reception to be held later (in just 2 months). The practice of accepting money/gifts (traditionally termed as ‘Chandlo’ in the Gujarati Culture) was initiated in the ancient times in small villages where the entire village came forward to offer their financial help to the family incurring a big expense in their daughter’s marriage. This would ensure that no one family would feel the burden of this event financially. It was a noble intention especially for families with limited resources. And today, where have we brought this down to in the name of ‘Vyavhar’ (the most abused word in this context). The most affluent families accept money/gifts from everyone attending their function which would include even people who are not anywhere near the financial state of the bride and bridegroom family. And now, this beggary is not restricted to only marriage, it extends its greed to even engagement ceremonies. Of course there are exceptions who do not accept anything. My salutations to them. And for others, there seems to be no limit to their beggarliness. When I mention this to people in general, they defend this malpractice by saying, “But, we too gave to everyone and so why should we not accept. After all they are blessings.” But then, somebody must break this vicious cycle first?
 I know of Gujju families where a proper list is made of ‘chandlo’ received with names. An elderly relative sits with a bag on his/her lap accepting ‘chandlos.’ It is disgusting to see how a noble practice has been brought down to open beggary by our greed and shamelessness. Blessings don’t need a financial package. They are enough unto themselves.
On my way back from the that engagement, I saw some beggars at Churchgate  Station. Somewhere I felt like stealing their dented begging bowls and gift it to the beggars on stage I met few minutes back. Maybe I could do just that in her wedding reception. I didn’t unfortunately.

- Anjan Dangarwala

P.S.:This being a social comment Anjan has requested all the readers to send in their feedback, whether they agree or they dissent.  

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