Making our relationships beautiful and blissful…

Haven’t we all noticed that after the honeymoon period ends, our married life/romantic relationship faces a neutral/dry period? This phase of the relationship has no heat, no romance and possibly no love. It eventually leads to break – up, divorce, cheating or being a part of love-less relationship only surviving on the fear of society. Why is that? How do we ensure that the love quotient doesn’t reduce? How do we ensure that even after 20 years of marriage, the heat and romance is maintained?

Only by doing 4 things in our life, we can ensure that our life will be beautiful, where love is concerned. 2 things we have to remember and 2 things we have to forget.

-         REMEMBER everything our partner has offered us

When they remember our birthday, cook for us, etc., are we grateful for it? We do thank them, but we forget that we don’t deserve anyone who should remember the day we are born or cooking for us. By not forgetting this feeling of being grateful for everything they do for us, we are making sure that we never take them for granted.

 

-         REMEMBER what we denied him/her that agitated them or stressed them.

Every time we lose our cool and get angry towards our partner, we are causing them stress. Instead of rationalizing it by saying we are only a human, we should accept that losing our cool is our shortcoming. By not forgetting these moments we value their presence in our life, in spite of our shortcomings. “Though we do not deserve them, they are still with us” – this realization will keep us on our toes to make sure they remain happy always.

 

-         FORGET everything we offer to our partner

Stop keeping a balance sheet of everything we do for them, to bring it up every time they are upset with us. Everything we offer to them is our duty and not our insurance cover that we cash in when they are upset with us. And if its duty that we are doing then we must perform it without keeping an account of it. By not remembering everything we offered, we never think what we offered is enough and get tired of offering.

 

-         FORGET everything our partner denied us that caused us agitation/stress.

Why do we hold our partner on the pedestal of God, when we rationalize our shortcomings as a part of being human? By not remembering the moments that caused us stress/agitation, we are valuing our partners for who they are. Love is unconditional – this is best applied when we do not get offended by our partner’s shortcomings.

All we have done till now is completely opposite of it.

Adi uncle put this concept accurately as – ‘We magnify what we have to belittle and we belittle what we should have magnified.’ Our demand from them should be Zero and what comes unasked, we must enjoy and be Grateful for it. 

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