On Marriage.
The one question which seems to be ever untiring about me is "Why are you not married?".And I really do not know what to answer as i do not know the answer.But a few thoughts about it do surface.Initially,when the marriage "season" originated in my life,it was an egoistic thought on meeting someone "will she be able to take care of my insanity?". When immature wisdom dawned a little later, the thought changed "will i be able to take care of her?".I call it immature wisdom since it was wiser than the earlier egoistic self-care thought,but still immature since it was devoid of the reality that nobody can really take care fully of anybody.The real care-taker is the supreme Lord and his not-negotiable laws,which if observed religiously,will bestow natural protection and care.But I wonder if we qualify to marry without any clue of these laws of emotions,thoughts and care.Are we unselfish enough to pledge our life to someone,whom we can love unconditionslly?Do we know or even think that we need to know what it takes to keep someone so dear ever happy,cheerful,comfortable and secure?It seems to me that most of us choose our partner using criterias which are fit to shop for a puppy?
Example:she must be cute,understanding,patient,always loving,she must not feel bad even when i do everything to make her do so.Only your loving puppy dog will fulfil these demands fully.Are we even remotely bringing on to the table a small percentage of what we desire/demand from her,except in the initial wooing period lasting maximum upto the honeymoon?Shoudnt all marriages then logically end with the honeymoon? If I am not qualified to deliver,am I entitled to play with her sensitivity and emotions?Maybe , it was wrong to ban child marriages since all marriages anyways seems to be two children marrying, irrespective of their physical age.And then these"children" have children.Arre,my dear, have ypu grown up first to feel so qualified to get a child? Well, in my case i seem to have been spared since whenever 'she'said yes,I was not convinced and when I felt convinced,'she' saw through my childishness & said No. But when 'he' and 'she' both agreed, the world did not agree.
Example:she must be cute,understanding,patient,always loving,she must not feel bad even when i do everything to make her do so.Only your loving puppy dog will fulfil these demands fully.Are we even remotely bringing on to the table a small percentage of what we desire/demand from her,except in the initial wooing period lasting maximum upto the honeymoon?Shoudnt all marriages then logically end with the honeymoon? If I am not qualified to deliver,am I entitled to play with her sensitivity and emotions?Maybe , it was wrong to ban child marriages since all marriages anyways seems to be two children marrying, irrespective of their physical age.And then these"children" have children.Arre,my dear, have ypu grown up first to feel so qualified to get a child? Well, in my case i seem to have been spared since whenever 'she'said yes,I was not convinced and when I felt convinced,'she' saw through my childishness & said No. But when 'he' and 'she' both agreed, the world did not agree.
I think Profound would be an usual word for you by now.
ReplyDeletei really lik readin ur blog , itz lik ur readin it to me...
ReplyDeletekeep writing ...
:)
wonderfully written...
ReplyDeleteIts difficult to love someone unconditionally in a way that a parent loves his/her child but in my view, its the love that you share with special someone which makes you accept and try to understand the other person and his/her ways and adapt yourself accordingly. Caring for the other person so as to keep the other person happy and secure comes automatically. You just have to take the risk of letting someone into your heart.
ReplyDeleteclassic... best ever.
ReplyDeletewell said :)
ReplyDeleteMost of the times we torment ourselves just for the fact that the world or the society may not accept our decisions or out thoughts. Is it not our life? why do we even need to answer anybody about the reasoning and logics behind our decisions? Are we not the king or queen of our own life? Most times such society pressures lead to great disasters within the family which could even be killing their own brothers and sisters as per the recent case that happened in Delhi which was again triggered by nothing else but the society pressures. Why should we change our thinking to match tht of the society? Do you get to go to heaven on the criteria of how many people did u satisfy in ur entire life? or does it matter that how good a person you were from within?
ReplyDeleteHence, it is entirely our choice to run our lives according to the society or follow the path shown to us by god which is nothing but contains the same characteristics of any and every soul; peace , love , purity , and happiness and we materialistic ppl search for happiness outside when it in itself is our basic nature!
@ harsha ; you talked about conditions while talking about loving someone unconditionally. No offenses, but i believe it is not about accepting someone and then caring or letting someone into our heart in order to be able to care for them. These are nothing but conditions that we keep! Would it not be difficult for us to love some or give love and care to someone who is not even known to us? a beggar.. a stranger stranded on the street ? it would be right?
ReplyDeleteit's about our thoughts towards "people" and not about "specific people". It is very easy to love our parents , frds, relatives, husband, boy/girl frd, beloved but caring about someone not amongst the list of our dear ones or having pure thoughts about someone who might have done something bad to us once upon a time seems really difficult right? so then how cab our love be termed as unconditional when we have oursleves attached conditions to it?
If our frd/lover is good to us and loves us, we love them, but the moment the opposite happens , do we still manage to love them UNCONDITIONALLY? thats probably the question we shud ask ourselves before commiting to someone about our love!
Hey anjan: This is a cool blog. As for the instant blog, Ask a person who is married for 10 long years..what it is to marry. The prefix before the word "---years" explains it.... But on a more serious note....and on specifically the first line of your blog...on what you wrote..i am not hear to preach the terms, marry or no marry. Its a personal choice and its best left that way, rather than build a hilosophy around it. Why..Is it required to justify to anybody. I can well imagine what it would be to face our "kind" and "concerned" relatives (friends..we still manage), and answer such questions. But if we all have surrendered unto the Master(as HE the 'doer") ..why this question. A Smile, as a answer, does the trick. On a prting note..I can only add what Gurudev Chinmayananda once said, marraiges dont fail..people fail.I couldnt agree more.
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