Some Feelings..Some Words...From The Heart...

The shrill noise of the ringing alarm woke me up in the morning. Iwoke up but my thoughts went back to the day, not long ago,when a soft tender touch used to wake me up every morning. The touch was very warm & pleasing- it was the touch of a mother. Ours was a small Guju family,very closely attached in which every mother of the house depended on the other for company.My mother being most talkative,contributed a major portion of this company.Ever since i experienced existence,i was so used to seeing her around,that it inculcated a weakness in me(as it happens so often) of taking her existence for granted.As a child, i remember being very attached to her,but adolescence,teenage,college-life, friends took her roll- the attachment reduced though the love & sense of belonging remained . Then came the day of agony & misery for us.I still distinctly remember that moment when i was told that she was sick beyond cure.It was only then i understood what helplessness was all about...

A few days back,while cleaning my drawer,I found (Meghna's) poems and a list of my batches 3-4yrs back.And i re-called some of the memories of a few on that list who were so close to me then and about whom i knew so much-so many long calls,personal agonies, confessions, heartburns.I had felt then that they had become such close friends of mine and remaining in touch was a foregone conclusion.And today,I dont even knw where they are and what they are doing.It all fazed out so quickly.Heard of "Lost & Found" dept? Well I have a long "Lost & Found" dept.In most cases, it was either distance, career, or marriage which proved too strong for my lonely inclination to remain with them.I just hate saying Bye to anyone.I kept wondering why we say GoodBye- How can a bye be ever good? Does 'moving on' & 'growing up' need to be so harsh? All this is not about living in the past.Its all about caring of the past.Yes,initially,I tried hard to remain...

Recently i overheard a conversation between two young girls,one ridiculing the others confession as to how much she cried while watching "titanic".Many of us may have also ridiculed somebodys sensitive nature at many times in our lives.Well the word 'sensitivity' - my favourite in dictionary.Maybe it was derived from 'being sensible'.Amongst other bankruptcies if there is an acute insolvency of something today it could be of this sensitivity in us. I can still vividly recall the total insensitivity of the audience finding incomprehensible humour in Karishma Kapoor throwing stones at God in the sky complaining for feeling bad on a heartbreak.I confess that i had tears in my eyes watching the intensity of the scene & performance accompanied by laughter & shouting by my co-audience.I cant forget(or should i say 'forgive') the insensible audience trying to clap with the slow,serious & beautiful Mukesh song "jaane kahan gaye woh din" ...

As my car stopped at a signal this morning a small boy came near the opposite window begging.My friend shooed him away in a language & manner i dint approved of.The anger & complain that i saw in his eyes as he moved away remained with me for a long time.I knew it was not the right thing to have happened.I remembered a story i had heard long back. There was this man who was being felicitated on his completing 100 years.Naturally he was being questioned by one & all as to the secret of his longevity & resounding health. The man said that he owed it all to something that had happened in his life when he was very young.One day he witnessed his old maid in a pensive mood trying to hide tears gathered at the corner her eyes.On a persistent enquiry ,she finally revealed about the ill-health of her only son who medical expenses were going beyond her means.There was both desperation & helplessness on her wrinkled face.The man couldnt bear to see her moist eyes and p...