Some Feelings..Some Words...From The Heart...

A Chinese Proverb says, “if you want happiness  For some moments = indulge in any sense-pleasure For an hour = take a nap or a walk  For a day = go for a picnic For a month = get married (debatable)  For a year = inherit a fortune (that is, in one year you must have spent it)  For a decade = get divorced (Well, Well, I added this one to make my married friends imagine happiness) For a lifetime = give, give, give (love, care, help, time, patience, smile, tears to others in need of them.) For eternity = know who you really are from the one who knows who he is not." Now, we must ask ourselves, which happiness we want. We are all happy today since everything is in place as per our wish and want (house, wife, child, health, job, bank balance, knees, heart, liver, kidneys, lungs, the list is endless and subjective). Just imagine that one of the factors in this list is taken away. Now what happens to our “Happiness Quotient” is a true indicator of how happy we really are. L...

Haven’t we all noticed that after the honeymoon period ends, our married life/romantic relationship faces a neutral/dry period? This phase of the relationship has no heat, no romance and possibly no love. It eventually leads to break – up, divorce, cheating or being a part of love-less relationship only surviving on the fear of society. Why is that? How do we ensure that the love quotient doesn’t reduce? How do we ensure that even after 20 years of marriage, the heat and romance is maintained? Only by doing 4 things in our life, we can ensure that our life will be beautiful, where love is concerned. 2 things we have to remember and 2 things we have to forget. -           REMEMBER everything our partner has offered us When they remember our birthday, cook for us, etc., are we grateful for it? We do thank them, but we forget that we don’t deserve anyone who should remember the day we are born or cooking for us. By not forgetting this feeling of...

Many people ask why a person does not change in spite of listening to and agreeing with many discourses, and sessions/seminars/camps? While the reasons would vary according to people, it is normally due to the fact that most people listen but not internalize through contemplation. It is like eating food, but not chewing enough and thereby not digesting it.  Repeated listening, and thinking over it is necessary. What we hear at a Satsangh, etc. is, in a sense, like the Pandavas in the Mahabharat War. They were few (only 5). And they had to combat the vast Kauravas (100), in whose army there were stawarts like Bheeshma, Dronacharya, Karna. Here Pandavas metaphorically are what we intake, listen from evolved souls/saints/seers. But once it goes in, it has to combat with our past archives in our subconscious, like our set beliefs, views, opinions, which are not only many, but also deeply entrenched, which we always held as correct, practical, flawless. And the stalwarts are our strong ...

We have virtually no control over the external event, situations, behaviour of others or their deeds. No husband can control the wife, no mother can control the son or daughter beyond a certain age. ‘Can’ should be replaced here by the word ‘should.’ But when we refuse to appreciate that we should not try to own or control anyone, then nature in its infinite wisdom teaches us that we cannot even do that. But we feel hostile to the other’s refusal to be owned in the name of care or love. This hostility when expressed triggers the other’s obstinacy and promptly leads to being alienated. Now both feel that the other is responsible for this alienation due to errors of omission and commission. Nobody is willing to take responsibility for our inability to dissolve our initial hurt which was caused by our lack of understanding the laws of living and loving which made us want the other person to function as per our own desired mental pattern. This amounts to an immoral act of treating the othe...

A close friend asked me “Why do I suffer so much in the relationship when I just want to love him? Why there is so much anxiety, fear, anger, grief I go through in this?”  The truth is that in love, there is really no place for any of the above energy-sucking emotions. In most cases (exceptions few apart), when it is said, “I love you,” it normally means (consciously or otherwise), “I want to possess and enjoy your presence in my life.” It all starts with a thought, “She is mine alone to own/possess.” This thought is extremely intoxicating to start with and our untrained, unexamined mind is unable to see the veiled Satan in it. The Geeta rightly observes in a different context that what is nectar in the beginning is poison at the end and vice-versa. Instead of dismissing this first thought, we strengthen it while we get to know the other more, resulting in a strong attachment leading finally to a desire to ‘get’ her. The intoxication reaches its pleasurable peak. Of course, this do...

Last week I got a call from my dear friend. She was chosen to be among the many for a prestigious award in the corporate marketing world. There was just a problem she discussed about this that she had just quit her job and at present was not yet employed elsewhere. Her friends in the corporate sector advised her to maintain silence about this while she was to register herself giving all her details to the award committee, as they were of the opinion that this could jeopardise her receiving the award as she was technically unemployed. When she told these friends that she would be lying indirectly which she was not comfortable about, they pooh-pooh her honesty and told her to be worldly – wise instead. But she was not totally convinced and her intense spiritual quotient and sincerity pricked her conscience and her commitment to Truth, come what may. Her friends thought she was crazy to entertain these thoughts. One of them even went to the extent of telling her that whenever this ‘morali...

I had long back heard from Swami Tejomayananda that our life could be summarised in 3 words. The placement of these 3 words varied according to our age. As a child, we are naturally in the state of enquiry and wonder. We say often then, “Tell me, Why?” The child is always keen to know ‘why’ of everything he observes. This is the stage of innocence.  As the child grows into a teenager, he starts feeling that now he knows what life is about what he needs to do, to aspire, to get, to enjoy. This is fine, but along with this he also develops a sense of arrogance (exceptions apart) depending on many factors. He wants to be with his friends more than his parents/grandparents. He normally tends to disassociate himself from the happenings of the family in his family, and if his mother or relative tries to tell him (share) about what is happening in the family, neighbours, relatives, society, at times he ignores or says the 3 words within, “Why tell me” meaning why are you bothering me abou...

Please go through the link below: https://youtu.be/83sXAI27Suc It is my Guru, Haribhai Kothari’s video, whose anniversary was this week Jan 5. The talk is in Hindi.  I strongly recommend it as it resolves an oft-repeated query. Many more short extracts of His talks are available on YouTube. 

After reading the last Article on wearing masks (Pretentiousness), my friend Bhavita called to ask if I had seen the movie ‘Tamasha.’ I saw it and loved it. It showed the frustration of living a life divorced from our inherent nature (Swabhav). The hero (Ranbir) wears a mask of being a gentleman, living a mechanical life ordained by the father, worthy of being approved by the society (corporate job, good manners, ideal behaviour). He wakes up when the girl (Deepika) rejects him for not being his real self (mad, lover of nature, intensely romantic). He does not live a life of his dreams, since it does not have the approval of the worldly wise (who wore the mask long before COVID). Another friend asked if it is wrong to judge someone in a relationship. In our Vedanta class, it is often suggested that we need to assess, not judge others. Judging is deciding that the other is right, wrong, so stupid, so stingy, so this, so that. We put our self as a standard (ideal) for comparing, and anyb...

These are the days of wearing a mask. Sometimes it is a wonder why we fuss so much about wearing it when we have all been wearing this mask all through our life, except in childhood. As we grow up, the size and the number of our ‘mask’ increases. We need to observe in a day how many times we are pretentious. We say one thing, we feel something else within, and we do some third thing. When I did this observation on myself, I was shocked. We wear this mask in our personal life, professional life, and social interactions. Of course, we defend our self most of the time by using pretty names like etiquette, or a word used by us Gujaratis ‘vyavahar,’ social norm (of course created by us only). And then, we get disappointed when we see through the ‘mask’ of someone we loved or trusted, not realising that we too sail in the same boat. We go by ‘labels’ (parents, children, friends, in-laws, relatives, husband/wife) & expect the person to live up to their label, not realising that he/she wil...

Total acceptance of what comes to us will grant us the much desired inner peace. This acceptance comes through complete surrender that it is just and for my ultimate good. The one who is on the path of karma surrenders to the Law of Karma (As one sows, so will he reap). The Bhakta accepts everything as the Will of His beloved Lord. The Gyani surrenders to the design of Life. Whatever be our path, unconditional surrender is must. Our conscious mind can never understand fully how the laws function and therefore resists and questions the rationality of what happens, especially when it happens to us or to our near and dear ones. Our conscious mind can barely see the present, and is totally oblivious of the past causes and the future ultimate good. But the truth is “Whatever happens is justice (with respect to the past) and for our ultimate good (growth) with respect to the future.” We ask “Why me” for the negative outcomes, never when we succeed or stand first in class. I invite you all to...

When Meerabai was pressurized by her family to fulfill the duties of a daughter-in-law and forego her spiritual pursuits, she was torn in between the two paths. Unable to decide, she wrote a letter to her contemporary Saint Tulsidasji for guidance. He replied that “Those who have no love for Ram and Seeta (Divinity in any form) are not your relatives anyways, and there need to be no hesitation in distancing yourself from anyone who obstructs your spiritual journey, and divine quest.” The spiritual growth C/F to the next Janmas, while our parents, spouse, children change in each birth. Thus, they are ‘relative’ (pun intended).  In this context, can any parent ever say or think that their son/daughter is ‘My child.’ Do they own the child (Maalik) or they are just caretakers (Maali)? Do they really have the jurisdiction to decide the destinies of their children against their children's wishes or nature (Swabhav)? Can they force the children to decide their careers or profession or mar...

In the game of cricket, there is this mystical 12th man who can replace an injured fielder, and otherwise he is the one who brings on the drinks and refreshments in the drinks interval. He is supposed to go through all the rigorous practice sessions and has to be as fit as the other 11 players. My Vedanta teacher gave a fabulous definition to this 12th man as “Always ready, seldom needed.” This is the foundation Sutra for any service we wish to render in our relationships or social causes or in any other endeavour where we want to just give whether it is our Time or our ears to somebody’s problems or our shoulder to cry on or if you allow me to say, our Heart too to someone we care for or love without any need for a return in any form, not even a thank you. We just have to be “always ready,” but realise deeply that we may be “seldom required.” Is there any scope for any anger or let down feelings or hurt then? In fact, most of times we are not really required when we are very ready to ...

I recently saw again one of the finest movies of my life – Amar Prem, starring Rajesh Khanna and Sharmila Tagore. It captures brilliantly something that is sorely lacking today – reasonless affection and purposeless love, care. In the movie, neither do they marry nor are they in a definable relationship, but their love and care for each other transcends worldly definitions. Rajesh Khanna is brilliant and speaks with his eyes through the movie. All the songs are classic, and the end is heart – rendering.  You may wonder why am I talking about this movie. Last week, a friend called to share his recent experience. I knew that he was spiritually inclined and wanted to spend his life in doing his Sadhana at a place he loved and visited often in The Himalayas. He narrated his experience. He had a close friend over many years, who loved an Ashram in that very town, and who often spoke to him about how she would love to settle there, offer her Sadhana and service full-on there, as she did ...

It’s May 1 st , most of you know that it’s the day of our family Annual Program in the memory of my mom who left us on this date several years back when I was in the last year of my college.   We have been holding this annual function since the last 20 years at Prempuri Ashram, Babulnath. We have to skip it or postpone it this year. In this journey, for the first 11 years, my Guru Haribhai Kothari gave his 1- hour discourse personally on varied topics. He left His body to reside in my heart thereafter. Since then, for the last 9 years we have Him speak to us through the large video screen – one of his huge collection of recorded talks/discourses of more than 55 years of His life. I have no hesitation in stating that I owe my very existence today to my Guru. Had Haribhai not been there, perhaps I wouldn’t have been there today writing this article. As with many folks, my personal life too had its own roller-coaster ride – many unrelenting emotional setbacks, shattered emotions,...

A close friend called me up and said "Why have you been silent about what is happening today? What is your 'God' doing to us and why?" She was obviously letting out her frustration about being homebound. I had a long chat with her about the lessons the virus has come to teach mankind who has refused to listen otherwise to all sane and saintly suggestions for course correction. May I share a few points of that call in brief.  1. It seems that the virus originated from a human who ate a bat. So lesson one was that we have wrongly interpreted that the entire life on the earth is just for our consumption and joy. We have abused the concept of co-existence and 'live and let live' to a point of fault.  2. Mankind (should we really use the word kind with a man) was under an illusion that it can conquer nature (Prakruti) and then abuse it for his own insatiable thirst for materialism in which there was a mad race in all fields of life and living. The virus made ...

Is this world of objects/beings a source of our happiness/sorrow? How can our intellect accept that there is no happiness or sorrow in the world, when we do experience them as it were. If any object itself contains happiness/sorrow, then everyone should get them from it. Also, that happiness should be permanent, and undiminishing and same to all. But is this so? I read an interesting philosophical example on this from a book by Jagatguru Krupalu Maharaj. A man suddenly died. On hearing this news, his wife fainted due to overpowering sorrow. His son cried bitterly. His friend shed a few tears. His servant did not cry, but was sad. His neighbour felt bad, but experienced neither sorrow nor shock. He continued doing his work. A dishonest debtor experienced a feeling of relief internally, some unshowable happiness. If this man was to come back to life, then all the above would experience the same degree of opposite feelings - sorrow, indifference, happiness. The varied degree of these fe...

A person left behind in his will 19 camels to be distributed among his 3 sons in the ratio 1/2, 1/4, 1/5. The executers of the will wondered how this can be done. This story is a famous folklore of ancient Rajasthan. A saint came along on his camel. He was told about the apparent problem of division. He spontaneously offered his own camel making their count 20. Now, one-half, i.e. 10 camels went to the 1st brother, and likewise the 2nd brother got 1/4, i.e. 5 camels, and the 3rd brother got 1/5, i.e. 4 camels. Thus, 19 camels were distributed among the brothers leaving one camel still. The saint mounted on it and left, as that was his own camel. He solved the problem effortlessly without getting involved personally. No problem remains a problem once we seek the help of a true saint. Besides, the story also subtly conveys that unless a person is willing to contribute his own resource (time, money, patience, compassion, objectivity) he cannot really help in solving or empathizing with ...

Only Osho could have expressed this above Truth so amazingly. He further explains that love creates fear since love is death. In the death we know of, only the body dies which is just like a dress. We drop the old body and acquire a new one. The form changes, yet the same mind/ego continue (an old wine in a new bottle). There is no real death. But love is real death since here the body does not die, but the mind/ego/our identity dies or dissolves. If you love, you cannot be the ego since the ego will not allow love. We have to choose between love and our ego. And so we are fearful in love since we have to drop ourselves now. Maybe, that is why true love (egoless) is vanishing from our pretentious world. What we call love today is just a false coin. The device is to live in a false love in which our ego continues to thrive. We have invented this false coin since without love life carries no meaning, no poetry, no dance within, no celebration, no gratitude, and above all no prayer. It...

I have known her now for more than 10 years. In my class, while she was pursuing B.Com, she was allergic to any philosophy I would talk about. She was mildmannered but believed that her happiness was in the world which she thought, then, needed to be pursued. She did that, and found the world (at its best) wanting. The world can make us happy no doubt, but cannot keep us happy. She decided to look elsewhere, and reluctantly attended some Vedanta Class with me, not knowing perhaps that the seed within her was just waiting for the right soil and environment. Her very good friend then introduced her to weekly classes on "Savitri" (written by Sri Arvind), and thereby brought her to the philosophy of Sri Arvind and the Mother. It was almost like a moth to a flame. She knew that this was where she belonged. She embraced it, and I saw her changing, growing, becoming more beautiful and evolving. Her inner beauty had enhanced her inherent pretty looks. She was not very comfortable ...